Well, children, it has been fun, but the semester is coming to an end.
One thing before I close for the semester [there may be posts about Houston life over the break.]:
If I can't tell the difference between your beanie and your hair, we have a problem. I'll let you all muddle through that one on your own.
Good luck with your finals!
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
- Yves Saint Laurent
Monday, December 15, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Atrocities
[Photos will come this afternoon.]
What's worse than cape kids, you ask? I'm sure this question has been burning in your mind for days now.
Some child was walking around the Ho dressed as a disciple.
Now, I know what you're saying. "I'm sure it was for a class presentation, Danielle. You can't fault someone for a class assignment."
That's all well and good, but homedog was acting a fool upstairs, giving the pageant wave and saying hellooooooo to everyone.
Plus, he was wearing regular clothes under his tunic. All he had to do was pull that mess over his head and be done with it.
Monday I saw the most disgusting thing ever.
Plumber's crack. And how.
And this thing was no ordinary crack, oh no. This was a power crack. A 7 inch cleft. The Marianas Trench of butt cracks.
I'm pretty sure this gentlemen was wearing low-rise manties just to ensure that as much of his coin slot was as visible as possible.
The only saving grace of this week?
A Marc Jacobs [!!] green apple watch-pendant.
Presh and designer. Loves.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent
What's worse than cape kids, you ask? I'm sure this question has been burning in your mind for days now.
Some child was walking around the Ho dressed as a disciple.
Now, I know what you're saying. "I'm sure it was for a class presentation, Danielle. You can't fault someone for a class assignment."
That's all well and good, but homedog was acting a fool upstairs, giving the pageant wave and saying hellooooooo to everyone.
Plus, he was wearing regular clothes under his tunic. All he had to do was pull that mess over his head and be done with it.
Monday I saw the most disgusting thing ever.
Plumber's crack. And how.
And this thing was no ordinary crack, oh no. This was a power crack. A 7 inch cleft. The Marianas Trench of butt cracks.
I'm pretty sure this gentlemen was wearing low-rise manties just to ensure that as much of his coin slot was as visible as possible.
The only saving grace of this week?
A Marc Jacobs [!!] green apple watch-pendant.
Presh and designer. Loves.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Aw hells naw.
I was going ot wait until Friday to post, to adhere to my schedule, but this couldn't wait.
I JUST saw something worse than cape kids.
I know you don't believe me.
Photo evidence and a full rant later.
"Fashion fades, style is eternal."
- Yves Saint Laurent
I JUST saw something worse than cape kids.
I know you don't believe me.
Photo evidence and a full rant later.
"Fashion fades, style is eternal."
- Yves Saint Laurent
Friday, November 21, 2008
The winter of my discontent
Good evening, children.
I promised an update, and by gum I am keeping my word. (From the field, no less, as I am at this moment sitting in Cantrell waiting for Shane's recital to begin.)
The past few weeks have been tolerably mediocre, so until this point I have felt somewhat comfortable with not posting.
A handful of girls have decided to start a new fad, and unlike my pushing for big strands of pearls and floral pins, it is neither fabulous nor welcome.
What is this atrocity?
Calf length leggings worn under cotton work-out shorts, commonly known as "Sofees," with Uggs.
Not only is this not cute, ladies, it's not doing anything to keep you warm. (It's 30 degrees out, in case you haven't noticed.) You look like morons. It's as simple as that.
Don't want to bulk up? Understandable. You don't have to. Please take note of Jessica Taylor and Andrea Kesterson, who are both known to wear sweater dresses with fitted boots, or Abbie Dedmon, who wears a nicely fitted wool jacket daily. Layer with either urban sensibilities, a la Elizabeth Chrisman, or with a bohemian vibe like Lizzie Oliver.
Call me. I'll take you shopping. Partly because I care, but mostly because I'm tired of looking at your idiotic asses walking all around my campus.
Don't want to change your moronic habits? Transfer to OU with that bullshit. You'll feel right at home, I assure you.
At dinner tonight I was made aware of the fact that focusing on your clothing is not sufficient. I have made comments here and there about unacceptable behaviors and hygiene, but a certain young lady has forced me to talk about makeup.
I realize, honey, that today was probably your first time. It takes practice.
First of all, you are WHITE, baby girl. That means Queen Collection foundations are not for you. Try a porcelain shade next time, rather than tangerine.
Second, get rid of your "Barbie's My First Makeup Kit." Pale blue glitter eye-shadow was fashionable when I was in 7th grade (though I made fun of people who wore it then). Today it is the late 90s cosmetic equivalent of Zubaz and Crocs.
You're an adult now. Chocolate brown. Charcoal gray. Plum. Wine. These are your new eye basics. Learn to love them.
"Fasions fade, style is eternal.
-Yves Saint Laurent
I promised an update, and by gum I am keeping my word. (From the field, no less, as I am at this moment sitting in Cantrell waiting for Shane's recital to begin.)
The past few weeks have been tolerably mediocre, so until this point I have felt somewhat comfortable with not posting.
A handful of girls have decided to start a new fad, and unlike my pushing for big strands of pearls and floral pins, it is neither fabulous nor welcome.
What is this atrocity?
Calf length leggings worn under cotton work-out shorts, commonly known as "Sofees," with Uggs.
Not only is this not cute, ladies, it's not doing anything to keep you warm. (It's 30 degrees out, in case you haven't noticed.) You look like morons. It's as simple as that.
Don't want to bulk up? Understandable. You don't have to. Please take note of Jessica Taylor and Andrea Kesterson, who are both known to wear sweater dresses with fitted boots, or Abbie Dedmon, who wears a nicely fitted wool jacket daily. Layer with either urban sensibilities, a la Elizabeth Chrisman, or with a bohemian vibe like Lizzie Oliver.
Call me. I'll take you shopping. Partly because I care, but mostly because I'm tired of looking at your idiotic asses walking all around my campus.
Don't want to change your moronic habits? Transfer to OU with that bullshit. You'll feel right at home, I assure you.
At dinner tonight I was made aware of the fact that focusing on your clothing is not sufficient. I have made comments here and there about unacceptable behaviors and hygiene, but a certain young lady has forced me to talk about makeup.
I realize, honey, that today was probably your first time. It takes practice.
First of all, you are WHITE, baby girl. That means Queen Collection foundations are not for you. Try a porcelain shade next time, rather than tangerine.
Second, get rid of your "Barbie's My First Makeup Kit." Pale blue glitter eye-shadow was fashionable when I was in 7th grade (though I made fun of people who wore it then). Today it is the late 90s cosmetic equivalent of Zubaz and Crocs.
You're an adult now. Chocolate brown. Charcoal gray. Plum. Wine. These are your new eye basics. Learn to love them.
"Fasions fade, style is eternal.
-Yves Saint Laurent
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Une Mois
Sorry, children. My B.
One month later and . . . . I'm not really updating.
Classes, which, contrary to popular belief, I do attend and complete assignments for, have been getting hectic.
Here's the plan [someone please keep me on track] [thank you Donna for the constant badgering]: weekly updates. Scheduled for Fridays. Does that sound ok to you? It had better, because you don't have a choice in the matter.
Tomorrow plan on reading about the newest campus trend.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent
One month later and . . . . I'm not really updating.
Classes, which, contrary to popular belief, I do attend and complete assignments for, have been getting hectic.
Here's the plan [someone please keep me on track] [thank you Donna for the constant badgering]: weekly updates. Scheduled for Fridays. Does that sound ok to you? It had better, because you don't have a choice in the matter.
Tomorrow plan on reading about the newest campus trend.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Traj
I lost my locket. My aunt gave it to me on the most important day of my life: my birth.
Small. Gold. Heart-shaped. Starburst pattern on the cover. Small diamond in the center. Empty.
If you find it, please keep it safe for me.
If I see it on your neck prepare for a slow, painful death. [That was mostly hyperbolic. Mostly.]
I'm too upset about this to post properly. Tomorrow, children. Tomorrow.
Small. Gold. Heart-shaped. Starburst pattern on the cover. Small diamond in the center. Empty.
If you find it, please keep it safe for me.
If I see it on your neck prepare for a slow, painful death. [That was mostly hyperbolic. Mostly.]
I'm too upset about this to post properly. Tomorrow, children. Tomorrow.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Oh. Em. Ef. Gee.
It has been far too long. I am so very sorry.
Midterm work + fall break + a strange bout of exhaustion has been keeping me from posting. I apologize.
Wednesday before fall break [I realize this is extremely tardy] I spotted a denim bucket hat. I couldn't get a good shot since the wearer was too many rows ahead of me in chapel. Suffice it to say that she resembled a 90s TV teenager some of you may remember. . . .
2Pair will hence be named 3Pair. Lady apparently went to Wal-Mart and scored herself a pair of black basket-ball shorts. [Her equivalent of an LBD, mayhaps?] I suppose I could give props for wardrobe expansion, but I'm not going to. I'll break down and give kudos when she wears jeans.
Today marked the first legitimately cold day of Fall! I am ecstatic!
However, I still don't think that hoodies are acceptable outerwear all of the time. I realize that for some of you it is your element, [Mr. gray hoodie, vintage denim, flip flops, I'm talking to you] but I don't believe it would kill you good folks to invest in a wool peacoat. [I believe they're better protection from the elements anyway. Hoodies don't really cut it when it's snowing.] Or a "leather" bomber jacket. [Cori Fouts, yours was totes adorbs, BT Dubs.] Or layer a sweater underneath a blazer. [It can look very Ivy League when done right.]
I also realize that we are on our way into wellie season. No one likes cold, wet feet. I understand this completely. I beg you, if you wear wellies, please wear them well. Pretty please. Today I saw no less than ten ladies walking around with their jeans bunched up at the top of their boots. NOT cute.
So. Quick tutorial concerning wellies.
DO NOT:
*Wear with wide-legged capris.
*Cuff jeans over the top.
*Bunch jeans over the top.
*Wear with nothing but a mini-skirt on bottom. [Good rule of thumb: if it's cold enough to warrant a jacket and a lack of flip flops, it's too cold for bare legs.]
DO:
*Wear with fitted jeans tucked inside.
*Pair with skirts/dresses and tights.
Yes:
No:
Yes:
No:
Yes:
NO!:
Bottom yes, top no:
NO! NO! NO!:
And HELLS NO!:
This winter I'm looking for some lovely knits, jewel tones, structured outerwear, and fashion-forward yet functional footwear. Please make me proud, children.
Personal pics and further update later. Inspiration competition photo tomorrow. For those of you who saw my jacket today, you get a head start.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
- Yves Saint Laurent
Midterm work + fall break + a strange bout of exhaustion has been keeping me from posting. I apologize.
Wednesday before fall break [I realize this is extremely tardy] I spotted a denim bucket hat. I couldn't get a good shot since the wearer was too many rows ahead of me in chapel. Suffice it to say that she resembled a 90s TV teenager some of you may remember. . . .
2Pair will hence be named 3Pair. Lady apparently went to Wal-Mart and scored herself a pair of black basket-ball shorts. [Her equivalent of an LBD, mayhaps?] I suppose I could give props for wardrobe expansion, but I'm not going to. I'll break down and give kudos when she wears jeans.
Today marked the first legitimately cold day of Fall! I am ecstatic!
However, I still don't think that hoodies are acceptable outerwear all of the time. I realize that for some of you it is your element, [Mr. gray hoodie, vintage denim, flip flops, I'm talking to you] but I don't believe it would kill you good folks to invest in a wool peacoat. [I believe they're better protection from the elements anyway. Hoodies don't really cut it when it's snowing.] Or a "leather" bomber jacket. [Cori Fouts, yours was totes adorbs, BT Dubs.] Or layer a sweater underneath a blazer. [It can look very Ivy League when done right.]
I also realize that we are on our way into wellie season. No one likes cold, wet feet. I understand this completely. I beg you, if you wear wellies, please wear them well. Pretty please. Today I saw no less than ten ladies walking around with their jeans bunched up at the top of their boots. NOT cute.
So. Quick tutorial concerning wellies.
DO NOT:
*Wear with wide-legged capris.
*Cuff jeans over the top.
*Bunch jeans over the top.
*Wear with nothing but a mini-skirt on bottom. [Good rule of thumb: if it's cold enough to warrant a jacket and a lack of flip flops, it's too cold for bare legs.]
DO:
*Wear with fitted jeans tucked inside.
*Pair with skirts/dresses and tights.
Yes:
No:
Yes:
No:
Yes:
NO!:
Bottom yes, top no:
NO! NO! NO!:
And HELLS NO!:
This winter I'm looking for some lovely knits, jewel tones, structured outerwear, and fashion-forward yet functional footwear. Please make me proud, children.
Personal pics and further update later. Inspiration competition photo tomorrow. For those of you who saw my jacket today, you get a head start.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
- Yves Saint Laurent
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Minor Backlash
I'm not going to rant twice. You can read all about this on the Bitchery.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Neglect
Oh. Em. Ef. Gee.
Sorry for the unintentional lie. Friends?
The fashion front has been dismal this week. That could be due to the fact that I wasn't really able to pay close attention.
Some highlights:
Wednesday:
Gaby in an olive cable-knit dress. Very cute.
Thursday:
Andrea in a slate cowl neck dress and plum shrug. And Ty . . . . being Ty.
Purple striped hoodie over a black knee-length dress over boot-cut jeans.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
We have long since moved past the dress-over-jeans revolution. If it's super short with fitted jeans I can handle it. This just isn't acceptable. Even in Oklahoma.
Outside of the fact that dresses over jeans hasn't been in style since the first half of this decade, the proportions are completely wrong here. Nothing is fitted and since everything has volume the result is . . . . . well . . . . . . you know. If you are an anti-tiny girl, bigger clothes aren't hiding anything [if that was the intent behind this ensemble]. They only make you look . . . . . drumroll . . . . . bigger. Shocking that more fabric could look like more fabric, huh?
Now DO NOT wear clothes that are a size too small, that certainly won't help anything. You just need to find pieces that fit you well: close to the body, but not cinching.
Friday:
Cereal bowl aside, Ernest is just plain fab.
He's got that Cali ease [probably because he's straight out of CA] that I love so very much. [The first time I met this kid he was wearing 7 For All Mankind. L'amour.]
I told you, lads, that you can look great in jeans and tees. While I adore them, you don't have to wear vests and ties to impress me. At this point I'll settle for regular showering.
The promised rant:
You all should know that while I love people to look fabulous, what I love more is beautiful behavior. Courtesy is chic.
There has been an outbreak of PDA [and god knows what else] on campus this semester. I am dying to drop names right now, but that would be wrong.
Certain couples like to snog in various places around campus [mainly the benches near Herrick] after the sun goes down. I can handle that, so long as I don't have to look at it.
There are other couples, however, who feel it appropriate to feel each other up during lunch hours in the 'Ho. NOT ACCEPTABLE. At all.
Save that for nighttime at Lake Holdhercloser or any of the numerous church parking lots in the Bethany area.
I know you are so very much "in love" right now [I'm sure with your extensive world experience you truly know what that means], and I know that you want to express that "love" in a manner as close as possible to sex while still being able to call yourselves good Christians. However, you may not have noticed this while you were sharing that piece of Doublemint and rubbing each others' inner thighs, some of us are trying to eat.
I, personally, couldn't care less what you do with each other. Have threesomes, dive into S&M, try your hand at bestiality, go munging, whatever you like. Just quit touching each other in my presence in the daylight hours. I don't go up to the caf to watch live amateur porn. I go with the hope that there will be something meat-free and edible. Something that won't make me gag.
I never thought something could make my stomach turn more than the vittles from Sodex'ho. Your antics have proved otherwise.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
- Yves Saint Laurent
EDIT:
Floral tights from Target?
Someone in the fashion blogosphere is rocking them.
Sorry for the unintentional lie. Friends?
The fashion front has been dismal this week. That could be due to the fact that I wasn't really able to pay close attention.
Some highlights:
Wednesday:
Gaby in an olive cable-knit dress. Very cute.
Thursday:
Andrea in a slate cowl neck dress and plum shrug. And Ty . . . . being Ty.
Purple striped hoodie over a black knee-length dress over boot-cut jeans.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
We have long since moved past the dress-over-jeans revolution. If it's super short with fitted jeans I can handle it. This just isn't acceptable. Even in Oklahoma.
Outside of the fact that dresses over jeans hasn't been in style since the first half of this decade, the proportions are completely wrong here. Nothing is fitted and since everything has volume the result is . . . . . well . . . . . . you know. If you are an anti-tiny girl, bigger clothes aren't hiding anything [if that was the intent behind this ensemble]. They only make you look . . . . . drumroll . . . . . bigger. Shocking that more fabric could look like more fabric, huh?
Now DO NOT wear clothes that are a size too small, that certainly won't help anything. You just need to find pieces that fit you well: close to the body, but not cinching.
Friday:
Cereal bowl aside, Ernest is just plain fab.
He's got that Cali ease [probably because he's straight out of CA] that I love so very much. [The first time I met this kid he was wearing 7 For All Mankind. L'amour.]
I told you, lads, that you can look great in jeans and tees. While I adore them, you don't have to wear vests and ties to impress me. At this point I'll settle for regular showering.
The promised rant:
You all should know that while I love people to look fabulous, what I love more is beautiful behavior. Courtesy is chic.
There has been an outbreak of PDA [and god knows what else] on campus this semester. I am dying to drop names right now, but that would be wrong.
Certain couples like to snog in various places around campus [mainly the benches near Herrick] after the sun goes down. I can handle that, so long as I don't have to look at it.
There are other couples, however, who feel it appropriate to feel each other up during lunch hours in the 'Ho. NOT ACCEPTABLE. At all.
Save that for nighttime at Lake Holdhercloser or any of the numerous church parking lots in the Bethany area.
I know you are so very much "in love" right now [I'm sure with your extensive world experience you truly know what that means], and I know that you want to express that "love" in a manner as close as possible to sex while still being able to call yourselves good Christians. However, you may not have noticed this while you were sharing that piece of Doublemint and rubbing each others' inner thighs, some of us are trying to eat.
I, personally, couldn't care less what you do with each other. Have threesomes, dive into S&M, try your hand at bestiality, go munging, whatever you like. Just quit touching each other in my presence in the daylight hours. I don't go up to the caf to watch live amateur porn. I go with the hope that there will be something meat-free and edible. Something that won't make me gag.
I never thought something could make my stomach turn more than the vittles from Sodex'ho. Your antics have proved otherwise.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
- Yves Saint Laurent
EDIT:
Floral tights from Target?
Someone in the fashion blogosphere is rocking them.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Apologies
No update for yesterday or today. I'm sorry, loves.
I've been sick. [I even wore a hoodie and trackpants to dinner tonight. Cecily French called me on it. Thanks for making me feel like an utter fraud and failure, Ces. In my defense, my hoodie is presh.]
I promise a synopsis tomorrow. Plus! A rant. I know how much everyone adores those.
For now, Earl Gray and bed.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent
I've been sick. [I even wore a hoodie and trackpants to dinner tonight. Cecily French called me on it. Thanks for making me feel like an utter fraud and failure, Ces. In my defense, my hoodie is presh.]
I promise a synopsis tomorrow. Plus! A rant. I know how much everyone adores those.
For now, Earl Gray and bed.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent
Monday, October 6, 2008
Wellies in the jungle.
Everyone is wearing them today, some better than others. It was rainy this morning, so I'll allow it.
The most tragic wellie sighting were hideous purple ones paired with some wide-legged capris. No bueno. [Also no picture. It seems that some offenders have been working on their hustle. Hmm, wonder why that could be . . .]
Reba Baker. Your black jumper was precious.
The pop of silver was a nice touch, and a good proportion for the dress.
It was worn with wellies, but since today was puddly, I'm not complaining.
Ok, apparently I did not read October's Vogue or Elle closely enough. I saw that they both stated that wide legs are circling back around, but somewhere there must have been a spread featuring gigantic cuffs that I just completely missed.
Indeed, that just happened. Again.
The bigger problem with this pair is that these are apparently bell bottoms. Meaning the flare is now almost at that girl's knee. Bad choices.
Now, I know today was puddly, which probably explains the cuffing, but this was on the 4th floor. Around noon. The puddles had long since dried up. [Those jeans tucked into a pair of bright green wellies would have been darling, BT Dubs. I actually love rain boots. Just not ugly ones. And only when worn stylishly.]
[Please note that even cuffed those pants are almost the right length. Meaning they are at least 5 inches too long for that girl. At 5'0", I feel your pain. But honey, they do make shorter jeans. Short length at ON and AE. Ankle at Gap. Petite at virtually every other brand. Buckle will hem jeans purchased there for free, jeans purchased outside the Buckle for a small fee. Most dry-cleaners have minor tailoring services available. Please, take care of that business.]
Shauna exhibited the correct way to wear a hoodie. Thank you. I've been waiting, and waiting, and waiting for someone to wear an adorable hoodie.
Fitted and with flair. Please, please, please, if you're going to wear a hoodie, wear a cute one. Something that displays your personality, not oversized SNU BS. If your personality is oversized SNU BS, let's find you some new interests. You are in serious need of expanding your horizons.
John McCall!
That blue is F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S.
And I don't think I'll ever get tired of vests. Classic. I love them so.
Boys - see how good you can look and still wear jeans? See?
On a self indulgent note: today I gave tribute to Axl Rose. Many of you thought I was taking style direction from Erykah Badu. Why you thought of her before Axl, I can't quite figure out. [Have you even listened to her music? Ever? Challenge (this does not include MLP): Off the top of your head name 3 Guns 'N Roses songs. Now name 3 of Erykah's. Can't do it, can you? Thought as much.] Their styles are completely different, and my updated Axl was spot on - as in perfect. You failed my icon test. Miserably. [On a random note, one person even said Bono. Have you ever seen Bono? Do you listen to U2? Obviously not.]
Perhaps you'll get the next one. [Maybe I'll start contests and give out prizes. Could be good.]
"Fashions fade, style is eternal"
-Yves Saint Laurent
The most tragic wellie sighting were hideous purple ones paired with some wide-legged capris. No bueno. [Also no picture. It seems that some offenders have been working on their hustle. Hmm, wonder why that could be . . .]
Reba Baker. Your black jumper was precious.
The pop of silver was a nice touch, and a good proportion for the dress.
It was worn with wellies, but since today was puddly, I'm not complaining.
Ok, apparently I did not read October's Vogue or Elle closely enough. I saw that they both stated that wide legs are circling back around, but somewhere there must have been a spread featuring gigantic cuffs that I just completely missed.
Indeed, that just happened. Again.
The bigger problem with this pair is that these are apparently bell bottoms. Meaning the flare is now almost at that girl's knee. Bad choices.
Now, I know today was puddly, which probably explains the cuffing, but this was on the 4th floor. Around noon. The puddles had long since dried up. [Those jeans tucked into a pair of bright green wellies would have been darling, BT Dubs. I actually love rain boots. Just not ugly ones. And only when worn stylishly.]
[Please note that even cuffed those pants are almost the right length. Meaning they are at least 5 inches too long for that girl. At 5'0", I feel your pain. But honey, they do make shorter jeans. Short length at ON and AE. Ankle at Gap. Petite at virtually every other brand. Buckle will hem jeans purchased there for free, jeans purchased outside the Buckle for a small fee. Most dry-cleaners have minor tailoring services available. Please, take care of that business.]
Shauna exhibited the correct way to wear a hoodie. Thank you. I've been waiting, and waiting, and waiting for someone to wear an adorable hoodie.
Fitted and with flair. Please, please, please, if you're going to wear a hoodie, wear a cute one. Something that displays your personality, not oversized SNU BS. If your personality is oversized SNU BS, let's find you some new interests. You are in serious need of expanding your horizons.
John McCall!
That blue is F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S.
And I don't think I'll ever get tired of vests. Classic. I love them so.
Boys - see how good you can look and still wear jeans? See?
On a self indulgent note: today I gave tribute to Axl Rose. Many of you thought I was taking style direction from Erykah Badu. Why you thought of her before Axl, I can't quite figure out. [Have you even listened to her music? Ever? Challenge (this does not include MLP): Off the top of your head name 3 Guns 'N Roses songs. Now name 3 of Erykah's. Can't do it, can you? Thought as much.] Their styles are completely different, and my updated Axl was spot on - as in perfect. You failed my icon test. Miserably. [On a random note, one person even said Bono. Have you ever seen Bono? Do you listen to U2? Obviously not.]
Perhaps you'll get the next one. [Maybe I'll start contests and give out prizes. Could be good.]
"Fashions fade, style is eternal"
-Yves Saint Laurent
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Weekend Update
Normally I don't do weekend posts, but I just couldn't resist.
Friday afternoon I was feeling lazy and didn't update with the sighting of Corbin Taggart.
Very Brad Goreski. [With this style and the mannerisms of Michael Alig, this kid is quite the interesting juxtaposition.]
OKCMOA Saturday:
If I had seen these on campus, I probably would have blacklisted them. Something about this guy just made them work. He seemed like an artist, but so unpretentious [and so unlike all those lovely hipster kids Eryn and I saw last night]. Chihuly's eye-patch is the mark of an arrogant tool. This guy genuinely belonged in those pants.
Further proof that your personality dictates what style works for you.
Little red jacket. So 60s. So great. And her hair was just perfect.
While the tissue is not so hot, this shift was just darling. [I couldn't get a better shot because Mr. Tits McGee would not get out of my way. Jerk.]
And, as Eryn and I were leaving Saturn I saw this lovely sign on Western:
Ladies and gents, someone is peddling Dior in OKC!
There's a sign for Chanel next door. Ohmigod.
[Breathe.]
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent
Friday afternoon I was feeling lazy and didn't update with the sighting of Corbin Taggart.
Very Brad Goreski. [With this style and the mannerisms of Michael Alig, this kid is quite the interesting juxtaposition.]
OKCMOA Saturday:
If I had seen these on campus, I probably would have blacklisted them. Something about this guy just made them work. He seemed like an artist, but so unpretentious [and so unlike all those lovely hipster kids Eryn and I saw last night]. Chihuly's eye-patch is the mark of an arrogant tool. This guy genuinely belonged in those pants.
Further proof that your personality dictates what style works for you.
Little red jacket. So 60s. So great. And her hair was just perfect.
While the tissue is not so hot, this shift was just darling. [I couldn't get a better shot because Mr. Tits McGee would not get out of my way. Jerk.]
And, as Eryn and I were leaving Saturn I saw this lovely sign on Western:
Ladies and gents, someone is peddling Dior in OKC!
There's a sign for Chanel next door. Ohmigod.
[Breathe.]
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent
Friday, October 3, 2008
The world beyond
Jeremy informed me via text this morning that he was wearing sweats. Boo, you whore.
He did say that there was a little bit of thought put in to his sweats, at least. I haven't seen him yet.
I'm not going to complain. If anyone has earned a day in lounge-wear, it's that man.
The outside tips are streaming in, and I am love, love, LOVING it!
Jori: "I found something for you.
Granted, it wasn't at SNU, but it certainly was within the mile radius.
Pastel floral sleep pants, pastel floral knit top (min. four sizes too small) with puckered sleeves, one inside out, (what I assumed to be) fluffy slippers whose fluff had long-since expired, and a sassy-phrase t-shirt showing through (along the lines of DRAMA QUEEN! or U wanna?! or something).
It took me several minutes to determine whether or not it was a Grade A romper sighting, the floral prints were so in tune with the shirt.
This was in public, mind you. Not in the annals of Full House sleepwear. Had I been swifter with my camera I might have contributed to your collection."
Too bad about no picture. It sounds like one for the books.
Marcus also decided that he needs to toot his own horn this lovely Friday afternoon.
"We just had class today, so professional-wear was not required. We are having GLORIOUS weather up here in the District, the kind that makes you want to grab a sandwich, some hummus and good book and head to the park. Fantastic. So, I threw this on today and I got a few compliments. And, I have to say without sounding too self-aggrandizing, I think I look pretty casual-spiffy. Enjoy.
Pants--dark green slim cut jeans from Urban
Shoes--double canvase (black AND grey) Converse Chuck Taylors
Shirt--white Ralph Lauren polo (happy birthday to me from you)
sweater--blue with yellow stripes cardigan from Gap"
You do get points. ESPECIALLY for wearing that lovely RL polo I bought for you. One of the greatest gifts ever? Umm, yes.
And double points for photo evidence! Thank you for doing this thing right.
Male cardigans. Yes please!
On campus spottings included a girl named Alex [I think?] wearing a pretty non-descript emo-esque uniform, with . . . . . . a sunflower pin in her hair! My work to bring back flowers as a top fashion accessory is apparently paying off! This is going to be bigger than the time I brought back scarves as head bands.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent
EDIT:
Why do I see these things after I make a post? Like immediately after.
Ridiculous.
Ok, pink plaid flannel sleep pants worn with a hoodie. Those are pajamas, sweetheart, not casual day-wear.
And this:
Single cuff straight up to the knee.
Yeah. That just happened.
I'm so baffled about that last one I can't even form a sarcastic comment. It's like Kryptonite, I swear.
He did say that there was a little bit of thought put in to his sweats, at least. I haven't seen him yet.
I'm not going to complain. If anyone has earned a day in lounge-wear, it's that man.
The outside tips are streaming in, and I am love, love, LOVING it!
Jori: "I found something for you.
Granted, it wasn't at SNU, but it certainly was within the mile radius.
Pastel floral sleep pants, pastel floral knit top (min. four sizes too small) with puckered sleeves, one inside out, (what I assumed to be) fluffy slippers whose fluff had long-since expired, and a sassy-phrase t-shirt showing through (along the lines of DRAMA QUEEN! or U wanna?! or something).
It took me several minutes to determine whether or not it was a Grade A romper sighting, the floral prints were so in tune with the shirt.
This was in public, mind you. Not in the annals of Full House sleepwear. Had I been swifter with my camera I might have contributed to your collection."
Too bad about no picture. It sounds like one for the books.
Marcus also decided that he needs to toot his own horn this lovely Friday afternoon.
"We just had class today, so professional-wear was not required. We are having GLORIOUS weather up here in the District, the kind that makes you want to grab a sandwich, some hummus and good book and head to the park. Fantastic. So, I threw this on today and I got a few compliments. And, I have to say without sounding too self-aggrandizing, I think I look pretty casual-spiffy. Enjoy.
Pants--dark green slim cut jeans from Urban
Shoes--double canvase (black AND grey) Converse Chuck Taylors
Shirt--white Ralph Lauren polo (happy birthday to me from you)
sweater--blue with yellow stripes cardigan from Gap"
You do get points. ESPECIALLY for wearing that lovely RL polo I bought for you. One of the greatest gifts ever? Umm, yes.
And double points for photo evidence! Thank you for doing this thing right.
Male cardigans. Yes please!
On campus spottings included a girl named Alex [I think?] wearing a pretty non-descript emo-esque uniform, with . . . . . . a sunflower pin in her hair! My work to bring back flowers as a top fashion accessory is apparently paying off! This is going to be bigger than the time I brought back scarves as head bands.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent
EDIT:
Why do I see these things after I make a post? Like immediately after.
Ridiculous.
Ok, pink plaid flannel sleep pants worn with a hoodie. Those are pajamas, sweetheart, not casual day-wear.
And this:
Single cuff straight up to the knee.
Yeah. That just happened.
I'm so baffled about that last one I can't even form a sarcastic comment. It's like Kryptonite, I swear.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Sex Pot
So . . . someone looked exceptionally fantastic today.
Purple belted shift with a 60s style scoop neckline, fabulous 6" tan snakeskin super-pointed toe pumps, 3/4 sleeve black trench coat, 7 strand pearl necklace à la Breakfast at Tiffany's, large cream-colored cocktail ring.
Anybody see her? Anybody? [Ok, ok, ok - It was me. I couldn't resist. What's the point of commenting on SNU style if I never mention myself?]
The rest of this campus really needs to step it up. I can't be constantly blogging about the same handful of people. It gets old. [Not that I don't love all of my regs.]
I'm sorry for the lack of posts. My DC fans - and by fans I mean fan - informed me this afternoon that they "miss posts."
So far I haven't seen anything too horrible outside of the hoodie brigade, but I haven't had dinner yet. There is still plenty of time.
I promise a full update later tonight, complete with highlights from Monday and Tuesday.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
- Yves Saint Laurent
EDIT:
Re-Cap:
Tuesday:
Good: red skinny jeans. Colored denim [on an individual who knows how to rock it] is an excellent choice. [Though it was in vogue last year, it's perfectly appropriate to wear it this season in OKC. They're five years behind anyway.]
Wednesday:
Heinous: Tan. Stained. Stretched-out. TINKERBELL T-SHIRT!
Mm, mm, mm. I don't even know what to say about that.
Except that I stopped wearing Disney memorabilia [except when worn completely for kitsch - and even then, stylishly] in the third grade because it was dorky. I would not even wear that t-shirt to bed.
People see you when you go outside. Did you know? Now you do.
Ladies - if it has stains, throw it out. If it doesn't fit, throw it out. If it is screen-printed with kittens, Cinderella, or the words "hot stuff," throw it out. You're all adults now. Please start dressing like it. Who knows - someone might actually take you seriously.
Stephen tells me to I need to start highlighting more guys on the Wasteland. Ok, Vandervorten.
That means until Marcus Powers returns or David Lawrence decides to come back and get a second degree, you'll be stuck with me rambling about how well Jeremy Schroeder dresses. [And since winter is coming he's only going to start looking better and better.]
You SNU boys really need to start stepping it up. Frankly, you girls do too.
Thanks to Andrew Tucker for wearing a sweater vest. [Was that today?] I'm glad to see someone other than Jeremy putting forth an effort.
Nothing super great today. At least not from anyone who doesn't look cute on a regular basis. I remember something about a sundress this morning, but it apparently wasn't memorable enough for me to even recall what color it was. Meh.
So here's what we're going to talk about, because I've been noticing this a lot. A lot, a lot.
Bra fit.
Ladies, if you've never been properly fitted for a bra, call me. We'll go down to Victoria's and get you all sized up. I'll even hold your hand if you're scared. It's high time you know what size you really are.
Muscling yourself into a 36" band does not make you a 36C. Just because you can get it on does not mean it fits.
You know what happens when your bra does not fit properly?
1. Your girls look funny. Sometimes you get a line along the top of your bust due to the gap between the cup and your breasts. It's not cute. Sometimes the twins get squished up, giving them the not-so-desirable pancake breast effect. Also not cute.
2. You get prominent back rolls. Yes, sometimes your body is shaped that way, but more often than not these folds are due to the fact that your band is 4" too small. If you're a 42, then you're a 42. If you're a 34, then you're a 34. If you're a 57, then you're a 57. Ain't no shame in it. Not only is band pinch not very attractive, your body is being constricted. Circulation is being cut off. You are causing your body pain and potential damage.
What happens when your bra does fit properly?
1. Your clothes look better. [Except for that Tinkerbell shirt.]
2. Your confidence will be raised. [Trust me, nothing makes you feel better than wearing a great bra. Except for a lavender truffle.]
3. Your posture will improve. You will stand up straighter, reducing back pain, fatigue, and other health problems PLUS you will look oh so pretty. [Good posture makes you look taller, thinner, and more confident. Try it. It's magic.]
Please, buy things that fit. Pretty please. It's for your own good, really.
You're all too pretty to wear ugly, misshapen, ill-fitting clothing.
EDIT 2:
Yesterday MLP wore "[g]rey-ish seer-sucker pants, black polo-shirt, black double-breasted cardigan and black lace-ups. Very professional, but not sacrificing any style."
Boys. Please take notes.
Also -- if I don't see you when you look fabulous, send me pics, or a text, or something via pony express. If you see something delightfully unfortunate SEND ME A PICTURE! Note the post where I commented on a student at OU. I take tips from outside sources.
Purple belted shift with a 60s style scoop neckline, fabulous 6" tan snakeskin super-pointed toe pumps, 3/4 sleeve black trench coat, 7 strand pearl necklace à la Breakfast at Tiffany's, large cream-colored cocktail ring.
Anybody see her? Anybody? [Ok, ok, ok - It was me. I couldn't resist. What's the point of commenting on SNU style if I never mention myself?]
The rest of this campus really needs to step it up. I can't be constantly blogging about the same handful of people. It gets old. [Not that I don't love all of my regs.]
I'm sorry for the lack of posts. My DC fans - and by fans I mean fan - informed me this afternoon that they "miss posts."
So far I haven't seen anything too horrible outside of the hoodie brigade, but I haven't had dinner yet. There is still plenty of time.
I promise a full update later tonight, complete with highlights from Monday and Tuesday.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
- Yves Saint Laurent
EDIT:
Re-Cap:
Tuesday:
Good: red skinny jeans. Colored denim [on an individual who knows how to rock it] is an excellent choice. [Though it was in vogue last year, it's perfectly appropriate to wear it this season in OKC. They're five years behind anyway.]
Wednesday:
Heinous: Tan. Stained. Stretched-out. TINKERBELL T-SHIRT!
Mm, mm, mm. I don't even know what to say about that.
Except that I stopped wearing Disney memorabilia [except when worn completely for kitsch - and even then, stylishly] in the third grade because it was dorky. I would not even wear that t-shirt to bed.
People see you when you go outside. Did you know? Now you do.
Ladies - if it has stains, throw it out. If it doesn't fit, throw it out. If it is screen-printed with kittens, Cinderella, or the words "hot stuff," throw it out. You're all adults now. Please start dressing like it. Who knows - someone might actually take you seriously.
Stephen tells me to I need to start highlighting more guys on the Wasteland. Ok, Vandervorten.
That means until Marcus Powers returns or David Lawrence decides to come back and get a second degree, you'll be stuck with me rambling about how well Jeremy Schroeder dresses. [And since winter is coming he's only going to start looking better and better.]
You SNU boys really need to start stepping it up. Frankly, you girls do too.
Thanks to Andrew Tucker for wearing a sweater vest. [Was that today?] I'm glad to see someone other than Jeremy putting forth an effort.
Nothing super great today. At least not from anyone who doesn't look cute on a regular basis. I remember something about a sundress this morning, but it apparently wasn't memorable enough for me to even recall what color it was. Meh.
So here's what we're going to talk about, because I've been noticing this a lot. A lot, a lot.
Bra fit.
Ladies, if you've never been properly fitted for a bra, call me. We'll go down to Victoria's and get you all sized up. I'll even hold your hand if you're scared. It's high time you know what size you really are.
Muscling yourself into a 36" band does not make you a 36C. Just because you can get it on does not mean it fits.
You know what happens when your bra does not fit properly?
1. Your girls look funny. Sometimes you get a line along the top of your bust due to the gap between the cup and your breasts. It's not cute. Sometimes the twins get squished up, giving them the not-so-desirable pancake breast effect. Also not cute.
2. You get prominent back rolls. Yes, sometimes your body is shaped that way, but more often than not these folds are due to the fact that your band is 4" too small. If you're a 42, then you're a 42. If you're a 34, then you're a 34. If you're a 57, then you're a 57. Ain't no shame in it. Not only is band pinch not very attractive, your body is being constricted. Circulation is being cut off. You are causing your body pain and potential damage.
What happens when your bra does fit properly?
1. Your clothes look better. [Except for that Tinkerbell shirt.]
2. Your confidence will be raised. [Trust me, nothing makes you feel better than wearing a great bra. Except for a lavender truffle.]
3. Your posture will improve. You will stand up straighter, reducing back pain, fatigue, and other health problems PLUS you will look oh so pretty. [Good posture makes you look taller, thinner, and more confident. Try it. It's magic.]
Please, buy things that fit. Pretty please. It's for your own good, really.
You're all too pretty to wear ugly, misshapen, ill-fitting clothing.
EDIT 2:
Yesterday MLP wore "[g]rey-ish seer-sucker pants, black polo-shirt, black double-breasted cardigan and black lace-ups. Very professional, but not sacrificing any style."
Boys. Please take notes.
Also -- if I don't see you when you look fabulous, send me pics, or a text, or something via pony express. If you see something delightfully unfortunate SEND ME A PICTURE! Note the post where I commented on a student at OU. I take tips from outside sources.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Slacking
I'm back, dear friends. Did you miss me?
You may be thinking that I was too busy last week crying and bitching to notice what you've all been wearing. Think again.
What you missed:
Big hair. [Just so you know I wasn't making it up.]
And no, that isn't Becca Lynch. Her hair has shape to it, and the curls are defined. That's just a hot mess. I should introduce you to my friend, John Frieda. He's a magician.
Karen and Ashten both looked smashing.
Chartreuse - my life's theme color. [The orange shoes are an excellent choice.]
And my life's theme print . . .
Once again, great shoe choice. Black, white and yellow - classic but not tired [ahem . . . . B&W + red? Or pink? Give them a rest. They're weary.]
2Pair went through a blue period. And though you can't see it there was a mysterious brown substance on her seat. One can only speculate as to what it was or how long it had been there. Please ladies, clean clothes. Laundry is free on campus. Lack of quarters is no longer an excuse. [As if it ever was . . .]
Today I didn't see anything too heinous, but I wasn't paying very close attention.
I did see dreadlocks done correctly. I tried to get a photo, but homedog was moving too quickly and it blurred. They were small, even, and clean. While it's still not a hairstyle I favor, I wasn't inclined to vomit.
Karen looked presh again.
Love, love, love long cardigans.
[Please note that she and Ashten have the same shoes.] [Also note that they are completely adorable.]
And Jess proudly gave birth [wearing a shirt she got at Gap for $1! That's right, you don't have to be rich, Ikea lovers.] in the middle of the 'Ho to . . . .
A very beautiful camel leather bag. [From Urban. Of course.]
Let's hope the sun shines tomorrow. I am feeling that a sundress is in order.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
- Yves Saint Laurent
You may be thinking that I was too busy last week crying and bitching to notice what you've all been wearing. Think again.
What you missed:
Big hair. [Just so you know I wasn't making it up.]
And no, that isn't Becca Lynch. Her hair has shape to it, and the curls are defined. That's just a hot mess. I should introduce you to my friend, John Frieda. He's a magician.
Karen and Ashten both looked smashing.
Chartreuse - my life's theme color. [The orange shoes are an excellent choice.]
And my life's theme print . . .
Once again, great shoe choice. Black, white and yellow - classic but not tired [ahem . . . . B&W + red? Or pink? Give them a rest. They're weary.]
2Pair went through a blue period. And though you can't see it there was a mysterious brown substance on her seat. One can only speculate as to what it was or how long it had been there. Please ladies, clean clothes. Laundry is free on campus. Lack of quarters is no longer an excuse. [As if it ever was . . .]
Today I didn't see anything too heinous, but I wasn't paying very close attention.
I did see dreadlocks done correctly. I tried to get a photo, but homedog was moving too quickly and it blurred. They were small, even, and clean. While it's still not a hairstyle I favor, I wasn't inclined to vomit.
Karen looked presh again.
Love, love, love long cardigans.
[Please note that she and Ashten have the same shoes.] [Also note that they are completely adorable.]
And Jess proudly gave birth [wearing a shirt she got at Gap for $1! That's right, you don't have to be rich, Ikea lovers.] in the middle of the 'Ho to . . . .
A very beautiful camel leather bag. [From Urban. Of course.]
Let's hope the sun shines tomorrow. I am feeling that a sundress is in order.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
- Yves Saint Laurent
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Rejoice!!
Good news, Wasteland fans!
The rage is subsiding.
Posting will resume on Monday. I know you're all very excited.
You have all weekend to put together something that will impress me.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
- Yves Saint Laurent
The rage is subsiding.
Posting will resume on Monday. I know you're all very excited.
You have all weekend to put together something that will impress me.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
- Yves Saint Laurent
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
99 Problems
And bitches are every one.
Here's the deal. There is a lot of drama concerning this chapel blog. Deadalus, Amber Jackson, whatever their true name is, everyone at this fucking hell-hole seems to believe that it's me. [Yes, I said fucking. Deal with it. Fuck, fuck, fucking. Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fucking.]
(That is the angriest looking photo I have of myself.)
These people think it is appropriate to spread these rumors as fact all over this campus, even going so far as to post an accusation on my Facebook wall from an anonymous Facebook profile - which the blogger is berated for time and again.
"[S]everal others have expressed their opinions about who the 'real' Amber Jackson,[sic] several of us believe that 'she' is comprised of a few people, yourself included."
I will not defend myself again. I'm too tired and pissed to do so even one more time.
Here's what this means for the Wasteland; I cannot and will not post another blog on this site until one of two things occurs. Either 1. the rumors subside and people allow me to live my life the way I have for the past 4 years - peacefully minding my own damn business, or 2. My rage subsides on its own [I really do not see this happening].
I am too worn out and too infuriated to continue to keep this place going. Frankly, I have little joy left in my heart from all this bullshit, and I can't do this if I am unhappy.
If you're disappointed, thank your school chums.
I'd like to thank them as well.
Thank you, SNU, for making me feel obligated to discontinue something that gave me a small bit of joy. I now have no outlet for both my love of fashion and harmless sarcasm. Thank you for imposing yourselves into my life, taking away something that made me and several others happy, and generally being all-around assholes.
I am not a judgmental person. I seriously thought that genuine people existed in this community. People who believed in fostering relationships, not tearing others down because they have nothing better to do than to start a witch-hunt for someone who wants (or at the very least claims to want) things to change in a place we ALL know needs it desparately. Apparently I was dead wrong.
I am now returning to a belief I formerly held: the majority of Christians are pricks bent on condemning, accusing, and battering everyone around them. Not true? Prove me wrong.
(Now would be the time to say that those accusations do NOT include one of my best friends, Ashley Smith. If you want to see a true follower (and one of the only ones I know) of Christ's teachings, spend 10 minutes with this lady.)
I am not an generally an angry person. I just don't get mad, normally. I try to figure out the reason behind people's actions. I try to understand individuals and do my best to avoid judging them in any way.
But this . . . . . I have become so enraged that I can't even say hello to people properly. I walked into the commons this afternoon glaring at everyone, including my friends. Walking down the sidewalk I normally think things like, "she seems friendly," "I wonder why he looks upset," "cute top," "I really wish she wasn't wearing those pants - she'd look so pretty in something more flattering." Today my thoughts were, "You look like a tool," "You are most certainly an asshole," "What the hell are you looking at?" "I hate you." "And you." "You too." You have all turned me from an endearing cynic into a genuinely hateful person. Congratulations.
I mentioned in the last post that I have a gift for cutting remarks. I don't think I truly gave myself justice. I am a magician of words. I said that I refuse to defend myself anymore, and this is true. But do not be fooled, I am by no means submissive. If I hear any of this bullshit firsthand, if I am directly accused, if some little shit gives me the stink-eye or calls me a bitch again, I will be more than happy to destroy you. I hope I have enough self-control to contain my words, but at this point I can make no guarantees.
To anyone who was a fan, I am sorry. It was glorious while it lasted.
If you want to hear more from me, go to The Bitchery. It's not going to be pretty.
"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”
- Audrey Hepburn
Here's the deal. There is a lot of drama concerning this chapel blog. Deadalus, Amber Jackson, whatever their true name is, everyone at this fucking hell-hole seems to believe that it's me. [Yes, I said fucking. Deal with it. Fuck, fuck, fucking. Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fucking.]
(That is the angriest looking photo I have of myself.)
These people think it is appropriate to spread these rumors as fact all over this campus, even going so far as to post an accusation on my Facebook wall from an anonymous Facebook profile - which the blogger is berated for time and again.
"[S]everal others have expressed their opinions about who the 'real' Amber Jackson,[sic] several of us believe that 'she' is comprised of a few people, yourself included."
I will not defend myself again. I'm too tired and pissed to do so even one more time.
Here's what this means for the Wasteland; I cannot and will not post another blog on this site until one of two things occurs. Either 1. the rumors subside and people allow me to live my life the way I have for the past 4 years - peacefully minding my own damn business, or 2. My rage subsides on its own [I really do not see this happening].
I am too worn out and too infuriated to continue to keep this place going. Frankly, I have little joy left in my heart from all this bullshit, and I can't do this if I am unhappy.
If you're disappointed, thank your school chums.
I'd like to thank them as well.
Thank you, SNU, for making me feel obligated to discontinue something that gave me a small bit of joy. I now have no outlet for both my love of fashion and harmless sarcasm. Thank you for imposing yourselves into my life, taking away something that made me and several others happy, and generally being all-around assholes.
I am not a judgmental person. I seriously thought that genuine people existed in this community. People who believed in fostering relationships, not tearing others down because they have nothing better to do than to start a witch-hunt for someone who wants (or at the very least claims to want) things to change in a place we ALL know needs it desparately. Apparently I was dead wrong.
I am now returning to a belief I formerly held: the majority of Christians are pricks bent on condemning, accusing, and battering everyone around them. Not true? Prove me wrong.
(Now would be the time to say that those accusations do NOT include one of my best friends, Ashley Smith. If you want to see a true follower (and one of the only ones I know) of Christ's teachings, spend 10 minutes with this lady.)
I am not an generally an angry person. I just don't get mad, normally. I try to figure out the reason behind people's actions. I try to understand individuals and do my best to avoid judging them in any way.
But this . . . . . I have become so enraged that I can't even say hello to people properly. I walked into the commons this afternoon glaring at everyone, including my friends. Walking down the sidewalk I normally think things like, "she seems friendly," "I wonder why he looks upset," "cute top," "I really wish she wasn't wearing those pants - she'd look so pretty in something more flattering." Today my thoughts were, "You look like a tool," "You are most certainly an asshole," "What the hell are you looking at?" "I hate you." "And you." "You too." You have all turned me from an endearing cynic into a genuinely hateful person. Congratulations.
I mentioned in the last post that I have a gift for cutting remarks. I don't think I truly gave myself justice. I am a magician of words. I said that I refuse to defend myself anymore, and this is true. But do not be fooled, I am by no means submissive. If I hear any of this bullshit firsthand, if I am directly accused, if some little shit gives me the stink-eye or calls me a bitch again, I will be more than happy to destroy you. I hope I have enough self-control to contain my words, but at this point I can make no guarantees.
To anyone who was a fan, I am sorry. It was glorious while it lasted.
If you want to hear more from me, go to The Bitchery. It's not going to be pretty.
"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”
- Audrey Hepburn
Backpacks and beads
Before I get to pictures, there is something I'd like to say.
The most stylish thing you can do is be courteous of those around you. That being said, be aware of the girth of your backpacks. I am 5'0". I realize you may not see me standing near you in chapel or in the 'Ho, but that doesn't change the fact that I am, indeed, standing there. When you fail to pay attention and swing your fattened sacks around, they hit me in the face. This gives me rage.
What does this have to do with style?:
1. Courtesy is always in fashion.
2. Your backpack could potentially scrape up my face, making me look sub-chic for days.
3. When I have rage I judge you quickly and harshly. And I am known to hold a wicked grudge.
4. Your backpacks are fugly. I can see them more closely than you - they're eye-level for me.
Pay attention. That's all I ask. Otherwise I may be forced to make a snide comment to your face. You don't want that. I'm very good at forming hurtful phrases. It's a gift.
Kisses,
Dani.
Ok, now on to the reason you are all here.
Yesterday I somewhat posed a challenge to SNU males, imploring them to try a little harder. Two gentlemen may have been trying a hair too hard today.
Full suits. In Brian's defense [top photo], he had a design presentation this morning. Cody [bottom photo] just wanted to play Ken. Trying too hard? Maybe. But I'll take the suits over muscle Ts and basketball shorts any day.
Other strange happenings:
I was sitting in chapel preparing for a superbly revelatory speech on Christian sexuality when I noticed a young lady in the row in front of my had something stuck in her hair. As I was about to inform her that there was something unsightly dangling in her hair I realized that the object was intentionally placed there.
Hair wrap. With beads.
Yep. That just happened.
I haven't worn those, nor have I seen them worn, outside the context of junior-high church camp.
[I completely forgot this young lady's name. My B.]
Clean + modern + a slight preppie influence = adorbs. And the best thing I've seen so far today. [I am a HUGE fan of argyle, BT Dubs.]
Hopefully I will see something life-shattering at dinner tonight. I'm really being let down on all fronts.
Sundresses tomorrow, ladies. Enjoy the last warm days while you can.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent
The most stylish thing you can do is be courteous of those around you. That being said, be aware of the girth of your backpacks. I am 5'0". I realize you may not see me standing near you in chapel or in the 'Ho, but that doesn't change the fact that I am, indeed, standing there. When you fail to pay attention and swing your fattened sacks around, they hit me in the face. This gives me rage.
What does this have to do with style?:
1. Courtesy is always in fashion.
2. Your backpack could potentially scrape up my face, making me look sub-chic for days.
3. When I have rage I judge you quickly and harshly. And I am known to hold a wicked grudge.
4. Your backpacks are fugly. I can see them more closely than you - they're eye-level for me.
Pay attention. That's all I ask. Otherwise I may be forced to make a snide comment to your face. You don't want that. I'm very good at forming hurtful phrases. It's a gift.
Kisses,
Dani.
Ok, now on to the reason you are all here.
Yesterday I somewhat posed a challenge to SNU males, imploring them to try a little harder. Two gentlemen may have been trying a hair too hard today.
Full suits. In Brian's defense [top photo], he had a design presentation this morning. Cody [bottom photo] just wanted to play Ken. Trying too hard? Maybe. But I'll take the suits over muscle Ts and basketball shorts any day.
Other strange happenings:
I was sitting in chapel preparing for a superbly revelatory speech on Christian sexuality when I noticed a young lady in the row in front of my had something stuck in her hair. As I was about to inform her that there was something unsightly dangling in her hair I realized that the object was intentionally placed there.
Hair wrap. With beads.
Yep. That just happened.
I haven't worn those, nor have I seen them worn, outside the context of junior-high church camp.
[I completely forgot this young lady's name. My B.]
Clean + modern + a slight preppie influence = adorbs. And the best thing I've seen so far today. [I am a HUGE fan of argyle, BT Dubs.]
Hopefully I will see something life-shattering at dinner tonight. I'm really being let down on all fronts.
Sundresses tomorrow, ladies. Enjoy the last warm days while you can.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent
Monday, September 22, 2008
SNUzing. Losing.
What a dreadfully boring day. I didn't even see anything remotely horrific enough to send me into a sarcasm frenzy.
I'd kill for someone to start emulating Bjork or Tilda Swinton right now. [That woman can even make Dior look terrible. How she does it, I'll never know. Tilda, please - put on some makeup. Wear clothes with SHAPE. Quit slicking back you hair. You're not loud or funny enough to look like an uber dyke. You have a model-thin body that you hide in sacks. You have magnificent pale skin that you let shine like an Exxon oil spill. Your hair has glorious color and you always oil it down - probably with your own face grease. It's such a waste.]
The girl with two pairs of basketball shorts? Remember her? [We'll henceforth call her 2Pair.]
Today was gray day for 2Pair, apparently.
Seriously - who started this trend?
Do you just not change out of your sleepwear from the night before, or do you consciously choose to wear this type of ensemble? If it's laziness, that's one thing [not that it's any more tolerable], but if you choose to dress this way, it's just as easy to throw on a pair of jeans and a better fitting t-shirt. I'm just saying.
Jeremy, my love, never fails me.
It's not that difficult, gentlemen. Give it a try. I'm willing to bet you'll begin to rise socially. [Note the lack of dreadlocks . . . . . . ladies like it that way. HINT HINT.] [BT Dubs - rich purple and pale yellow - very nice color combo.]
To make up for the lack of good commentary, I present you with a new section. Hopefully it will become somewhat regular.
Things That Don't Belong
[One of these things is not like the other . . . . .]
There are just some pieces of clothing that do not fit in certain cities. Would I like to wear Viktor & Rolf every now and again [that is, if I could afford V&R]? Hell yes! [Of their last collection, I would KILL for the gray ruffled coat and the black trench.] Does it belong on the streets of OKC? No. [Oddly, that was the theme of their last collection.]
So here is what I found [Saturday] that just does not seem to fit OKC.
Neon "light" print [Sprint commercial much?], "fur" lined zip-up hoodie, you belong in Detroit. Or some other urban area I don't plan on visiting any time soon. And by soon I mean ever.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent
EDIT:
Dinner. Dreads.
On a woman.
Long and lopsided and of varying lengths and blond with dark roots and nappy and frizzy and dirty and quite probably smelly and dear Mother Coco I am having a panic attack and my life is flashing before my eyes and I've only worn couture three times and I haven't yet redeemed myself for wearing clogs in junior high and I can't breathe and I am too young and pretty and fabulous and witty and delightful to be dying and dear Saint Laurent WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
It's not that I am against alternative hairstyles - I was rocking the asymmetrical bob way before that whore Vicki Becks popularized it - and that means WAY before all you bitches. [I am now growing my hair out since noticing that far too many soccer moms were sporting the 'do for me to feel like the fabulous 22 year old that I am.] What I am against is hairstyles that make you look like you are:
A. Homeless
B. Dirty and pungent
C. A mobile shelter for all manner of insects and rodents
OR
D. A massive tool. As evidenced by the Wigger movement of the late 90s and early 00s [skinny white boys in FUBU, anyone?][FUBU, as you may or may not know, stands for "for us, by us." The company is not named FWBN (think about that acronym a bit).], costuming yourself as a member of another society is just plain idiotic.
EDIT 2:
Breaking News from OU!
Spotted by my favorite bitch, Emily Beer:
A bit hard to see, but I am sure you can at least see the floral-print pants on that lady. And, contrary to my first instinct, she is not a misguided professor. No, she is a 27 year old Ph.D. student. Per Em, these delightful pants were paired with "a rose colored cord jacket, a sparkly brooch, and Doc mary-janes. It was tragic in every possible sense." We have been informed that the hems of these pants barely grazed the tops of the brown MJs. Black socks were prominent. [I'd give points for the socks at least being of a dark shade, but that goes against everything I stand for.] [This young woman is also, according to a (probably) highly biased source, a deranged Mormon. While that may explain the wardrobe, that is not for this blog to judge. At least not in print.]
I'd kill for someone to start emulating Bjork or Tilda Swinton right now. [That woman can even make Dior look terrible. How she does it, I'll never know. Tilda, please - put on some makeup. Wear clothes with SHAPE. Quit slicking back you hair. You're not loud or funny enough to look like an uber dyke. You have a model-thin body that you hide in sacks. You have magnificent pale skin that you let shine like an Exxon oil spill. Your hair has glorious color and you always oil it down - probably with your own face grease. It's such a waste.]
The girl with two pairs of basketball shorts? Remember her? [We'll henceforth call her 2Pair.]
Today was gray day for 2Pair, apparently.
Seriously - who started this trend?
Do you just not change out of your sleepwear from the night before, or do you consciously choose to wear this type of ensemble? If it's laziness, that's one thing [not that it's any more tolerable], but if you choose to dress this way, it's just as easy to throw on a pair of jeans and a better fitting t-shirt. I'm just saying.
Jeremy, my love, never fails me.
It's not that difficult, gentlemen. Give it a try. I'm willing to bet you'll begin to rise socially. [Note the lack of dreadlocks . . . . . . ladies like it that way. HINT HINT.] [BT Dubs - rich purple and pale yellow - very nice color combo.]
To make up for the lack of good commentary, I present you with a new section. Hopefully it will become somewhat regular.
Things That Don't Belong
[One of these things is not like the other . . . . .]
There are just some pieces of clothing that do not fit in certain cities. Would I like to wear Viktor & Rolf every now and again [that is, if I could afford V&R]? Hell yes! [Of their last collection, I would KILL for the gray ruffled coat and the black trench.] Does it belong on the streets of OKC? No. [Oddly, that was the theme of their last collection.]
So here is what I found [Saturday] that just does not seem to fit OKC.
Neon "light" print [Sprint commercial much?], "fur" lined zip-up hoodie, you belong in Detroit. Or some other urban area I don't plan on visiting any time soon. And by soon I mean ever.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent
EDIT:
Dinner. Dreads.
On a woman.
Long and lopsided and of varying lengths and blond with dark roots and nappy and frizzy and dirty and quite probably smelly and dear Mother Coco I am having a panic attack and my life is flashing before my eyes and I've only worn couture three times and I haven't yet redeemed myself for wearing clogs in junior high and I can't breathe and I am too young and pretty and fabulous and witty and delightful to be dying and dear Saint Laurent WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
It's not that I am against alternative hairstyles - I was rocking the asymmetrical bob way before that whore Vicki Becks popularized it - and that means WAY before all you bitches. [I am now growing my hair out since noticing that far too many soccer moms were sporting the 'do for me to feel like the fabulous 22 year old that I am.] What I am against is hairstyles that make you look like you are:
A. Homeless
B. Dirty and pungent
C. A mobile shelter for all manner of insects and rodents
OR
D. A massive tool. As evidenced by the Wigger movement of the late 90s and early 00s [skinny white boys in FUBU, anyone?][FUBU, as you may or may not know, stands for "for us, by us." The company is not named FWBN (think about that acronym a bit).], costuming yourself as a member of another society is just plain idiotic.
EDIT 2:
Breaking News from OU!
Spotted by my favorite bitch, Emily Beer:
A bit hard to see, but I am sure you can at least see the floral-print pants on that lady. And, contrary to my first instinct, she is not a misguided professor. No, she is a 27 year old Ph.D. student. Per Em, these delightful pants were paired with "a rose colored cord jacket, a sparkly brooch, and Doc mary-janes. It was tragic in every possible sense." We have been informed that the hems of these pants barely grazed the tops of the brown MJs. Black socks were prominent. [I'd give points for the socks at least being of a dark shade, but that goes against everything I stand for.] [This young woman is also, according to a (probably) highly biased source, a deranged Mormon. While that may explain the wardrobe, that is not for this blog to judge. At least not in print.]
Friday, September 19, 2008
Trendy
Happy weekend!
Good:
I saw a doll this afternoon. Pink striped sundress, white skimmers, raspberry cardi. Her hair is what made her incredibly adorable. Big blond ringlets all over the place. It was a sweet beginning to a hopefully good weekend.
Also spotted: gray sundress with a printed hem, gold sandals. [There was a photo, but I'm lazy. It's Friday.] Presh, presh, presh.
Bad:
Before we get to the bad, a friend of mine - Jessica Taylor, who regularly looks fabulous - comes up to me at lunch, wearing a white T and green Sofees - she'd come straight from a work out - and says that as soon as she was walking up to the caf she thought to herself, "Shit, Danielle is going to say I was the worst dressed person today."
That is magic.
Sorry to disappoint, but there was much worse.
I am not for women wearing basketball shorts [unless actually playing basketball or working out, etc]. I think they are among the most defeminizing clothes out there. Say what you will of my beliefs about gender roles, but I'm with Diane Von Furstenburg - "Feel like a woman, wear a dress!" I truly don't know how to feel feminine in a pair of those . . . . things. Call me old fashioned, but I believe in women looking like women.
Girls here wear them all the time [with various sizes of muffin top]. ALL THE TIME. Nothing puts a rage in my heart faster than a pair of basketball shorts, a fitted t-shirt or over-sized hoodie, and unwashed hair.
That being said, there is a girl I have noticed on campus who has decided to make this her uniform. I've also noticed that she only has two pairs of these shorts. That's it, just two. And while I hate the shorts altogether, I'm feeling a bit of a Woody Allen moment here. "The food was terrible, and such small portions."
The whole situation is very disturbing.
Ugly:
Gurkee's. "What the fuck are Gurkee's," you ask. They happen to be fugly-ass, broke-down, janky "Jesus" rope sandals.
Not my Jesus.
My Jesus wears Tom Ford.
I will make a deal with you, Gurkee's fans. I will allow you to wear your ugly ass sandals in peace when you prove to me that you can do the following:
*Feed 5,000 + individuals with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish
*Change water into wine [and none of that boxed shit, either]
*Heal the blind and ill with a single touch
*Resurrect both others and yourself from the dead [I'll give you three days to accomplish the latter]
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent
Good:
I saw a doll this afternoon. Pink striped sundress, white skimmers, raspberry cardi. Her hair is what made her incredibly adorable. Big blond ringlets all over the place. It was a sweet beginning to a hopefully good weekend.
Also spotted: gray sundress with a printed hem, gold sandals. [There was a photo, but I'm lazy. It's Friday.] Presh, presh, presh.
Bad:
Before we get to the bad, a friend of mine - Jessica Taylor, who regularly looks fabulous - comes up to me at lunch, wearing a white T and green Sofees - she'd come straight from a work out - and says that as soon as she was walking up to the caf she thought to herself, "Shit, Danielle is going to say I was the worst dressed person today."
That is magic.
Sorry to disappoint, but there was much worse.
I am not for women wearing basketball shorts [unless actually playing basketball or working out, etc]. I think they are among the most defeminizing clothes out there. Say what you will of my beliefs about gender roles, but I'm with Diane Von Furstenburg - "Feel like a woman, wear a dress!" I truly don't know how to feel feminine in a pair of those . . . . things. Call me old fashioned, but I believe in women looking like women.
Girls here wear them all the time [with various sizes of muffin top]. ALL THE TIME. Nothing puts a rage in my heart faster than a pair of basketball shorts, a fitted t-shirt or over-sized hoodie, and unwashed hair.
That being said, there is a girl I have noticed on campus who has decided to make this her uniform. I've also noticed that she only has two pairs of these shorts. That's it, just two. And while I hate the shorts altogether, I'm feeling a bit of a Woody Allen moment here. "The food was terrible, and such small portions."
The whole situation is very disturbing.
Ugly:
Gurkee's. "What the fuck are Gurkee's," you ask. They happen to be fugly-ass, broke-down, janky "Jesus" rope sandals.
Not my Jesus.
My Jesus wears Tom Ford.
I will make a deal with you, Gurkee's fans. I will allow you to wear your ugly ass sandals in peace when you prove to me that you can do the following:
*Feed 5,000 + individuals with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish
*Change water into wine [and none of that boxed shit, either]
*Heal the blind and ill with a single touch
*Resurrect both others and yourself from the dead [I'll give you three days to accomplish the latter]
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Richard Simmons
YES YOU CAN!!!!
Walking back from dinner tonight - oh yummy, yummy Sodex'ho, how I love thee [especially when it's steak night - a vegetarian's one night in heaven.] I saw the Garey/ Hatley bash wrapping up. Everyone was dressed up in 50s attire - my favorite era - and most looked precious.
So I ask you, ladies - why can you not look precious every day? Obviously you are capable.
There will be no bad comments today as I am too saddened by your apathy to be my normal, upbeat, snarky self.
Two photos, however.
Cole Speck was wearing fabulous tassel earrings today. Beyond adorable.
A bit hard to see, [phone cameras are the worst] but these were gold tassels made of chain. Love.
And Rachel Hoile looked smashing in her [probably thrifted - I LOVE thrifting] pink shift.
Totes presh, yes?
Please dress like this on a regular day. If people stare it's only because you look amazing.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent
EDIT:
I went to Faith & Film forum tonight. [Don't judge me - they were showing Lars and the Real Girl.] I reaffirmed my hatred for a certain style of hair.
Dread Locks. They are beyond disgusting. Nothing says "I don't bathe" more than a head full of nappy-ass hair nuggets sticking out all over your head. You are not a rasta. Cut that shit off and wash your damn hair.
Walking back from dinner tonight - oh yummy, yummy Sodex'ho, how I love thee [especially when it's steak night - a vegetarian's one night in heaven.] I saw the Garey/ Hatley bash wrapping up. Everyone was dressed up in 50s attire - my favorite era - and most looked precious.
So I ask you, ladies - why can you not look precious every day? Obviously you are capable.
There will be no bad comments today as I am too saddened by your apathy to be my normal, upbeat, snarky self.
Two photos, however.
Cole Speck was wearing fabulous tassel earrings today. Beyond adorable.
A bit hard to see, [phone cameras are the worst] but these were gold tassels made of chain. Love.
And Rachel Hoile looked smashing in her [probably thrifted - I LOVE thrifting] pink shift.
Totes presh, yes?
Please dress like this on a regular day. If people stare it's only because you look amazing.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent
EDIT:
I went to Faith & Film forum tonight. [Don't judge me - they were showing Lars and the Real Girl.] I reaffirmed my hatred for a certain style of hair.
Dread Locks. They are beyond disgusting. Nothing says "I don't bathe" more than a head full of nappy-ass hair nuggets sticking out all over your head. You are not a rasta. Cut that shit off and wash your damn hair.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Lady Marmalade
Ok. I simply cannot start this post on a good note. [Perhaps it'll be good to always save the best for last, anyway. Ending on a high note, and all that business.]
Bad:
Bright kelly green VS Pink calf-length sweatpants which had seen their better days a couple years ago - these things were nubbly beyond belief. [If there is one thing I love more than sweats in public, it's janky, worn-out sweats in public.] That wasn't the biggest problem. Oh no.
Atomic wedgie. Atomic doesn't quite cover it. Take the power of the atom bomb dropped on Hiroshima and add it to the power of the one dropped on Nagasaki. Now imagine that exact force pushing those nubbly green pants up that girl's crack. [Since when did wedgies become a chic accessory? Did I miss that in the last issue of Elle?]
These things were crawling so far up this young lady's derriere that were the ass to have "BOOTYLICIOUS" written on it, all we would be able to read would be "BS."
You have a few options in this situation, girls:
1. Buy pants that fit appropriately. Yeah. You can do that. They come in all sizes. It's magical.
2. Don't wear your ill-fitting, broke-down sweat pants in public. Some people believe in a small sense of decorum when roaming about before their fellow man. [I like to call those people sane.]
3. Pick that shit. Either Courtney Love style or discretely. I vote discretely, but if you must release, then you must. As long as I don't have to look at that painful wad of fabric jammed up your ass I'm ok.
Ugly:
Apparently big hair is also back in style. And no, not the clean voluminous kind. Think Christina Aguilera a la 2001 Blockbuster Awards. Oh hell, don't bother picturing it. I'll show you:
You wish I was kidding. So do I. This is not hyperbole, people. I have witnesses.
In other ugly news, these bad boys are hanging up - available for purchase - at the dear old Target. While I'm sure someone, somewhere - possibly even moi - could make them work fabulously, I do not want to deal with all the people who think they can work them and fail miserably.
That's right. Floral printed leggings. Welcome back 1993! I'm sure someone, somewhere, missed you. I'm still confused about them. They could be good. Or they could be HEINOUS. One request - please don't wear them as pants. I cannot handle a floral printed thut right now. Campus drama has put me in a delicate condition.
Good:
Well fitted printed tunic paired with dark jeans, sandals, and a lovely pink cardigan. [I love me a good cardi.] I would go so far as to describe the ensemble as presh.
Thanks for making my day livable. Those sweats nearly sent me into a self-mutilation frenzy.
I dub tomorrow "Flower Child Day." Impress me with free-spirited, bohemian madness.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent
Bad:
Bright kelly green VS Pink calf-length sweatpants which had seen their better days a couple years ago - these things were nubbly beyond belief. [If there is one thing I love more than sweats in public, it's janky, worn-out sweats in public.] That wasn't the biggest problem. Oh no.
Atomic wedgie. Atomic doesn't quite cover it. Take the power of the atom bomb dropped on Hiroshima and add it to the power of the one dropped on Nagasaki. Now imagine that exact force pushing those nubbly green pants up that girl's crack. [Since when did wedgies become a chic accessory? Did I miss that in the last issue of Elle?]
These things were crawling so far up this young lady's derriere that were the ass to have "BOOTYLICIOUS" written on it, all we would be able to read would be "BS."
You have a few options in this situation, girls:
1. Buy pants that fit appropriately. Yeah. You can do that. They come in all sizes. It's magical.
2. Don't wear your ill-fitting, broke-down sweat pants in public. Some people believe in a small sense of decorum when roaming about before their fellow man. [I like to call those people sane.]
3. Pick that shit. Either Courtney Love style or discretely. I vote discretely, but if you must release, then you must. As long as I don't have to look at that painful wad of fabric jammed up your ass I'm ok.
Ugly:
Apparently big hair is also back in style. And no, not the clean voluminous kind. Think Christina Aguilera a la 2001 Blockbuster Awards. Oh hell, don't bother picturing it. I'll show you:
You wish I was kidding. So do I. This is not hyperbole, people. I have witnesses.
In other ugly news, these bad boys are hanging up - available for purchase - at the dear old Target. While I'm sure someone, somewhere - possibly even moi - could make them work fabulously, I do not want to deal with all the people who think they can work them and fail miserably.
That's right. Floral printed leggings. Welcome back 1993! I'm sure someone, somewhere, missed you. I'm still confused about them. They could be good. Or they could be HEINOUS. One request - please don't wear them as pants. I cannot handle a floral printed thut right now. Campus drama has put me in a delicate condition.
Good:
Well fitted printed tunic paired with dark jeans, sandals, and a lovely pink cardigan. [I love me a good cardi.] I would go so far as to describe the ensemble as presh.
Thanks for making my day livable. Those sweats nearly sent me into a self-mutilation frenzy.
I dub tomorrow "Flower Child Day." Impress me with free-spirited, bohemian madness.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent
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