I realize that college students need to be granted some lenience. I realize that central Oklahoma is no Milan. I realize that even the best dressed Americans make boo boos from time to time [Gwyneth at the 2002 Oscars, anyone?]. We're all allowed our 15 minutes in gauchos. Still. I have had enough.
Now, I am certainly not calling for Balenciaga day dresses to be worn to class every day, that would be ridiculous given the setting. [Ridiculous and utterly fabulous!]
All I want to see is clean shirts. And perhaps a nice pair of flats or the occasional pump every now and again. Hair that doesn't look like you slept with wolverines and couldn't be bothered with a brush this morning. And something other than sweats every day.
I don't think it's too much to ask.
While the majority of the student body rocks jeans and some form of cotton shirt [T, tank, button-down, what-have-you] there is always one individual who wakes up thinking that somehow it is a good idea to dress like Mario Batali. I'm ok with a standard wardrobe. Jeans are just fine in my book [I wear them nearly every day]. T-shirts too. We are, afterall, college students. Tuition payments really dig into the YSL fund [it's the sharpest pain I know]. However I am not pro-croc, pro-mullet, pro-gaucho, pro-mini-skirt in the dead of winter, etc.
Until I'm living in a land of Laboutin-clad Upper East-Siders and bohemian beauties from the Village, I am forced to spill my disdain here.
This is for the [rarely] good, the [omnipresent] bad, and the [tragically] ugly.
Let's get to it.
The Good:
Came last week, but I'm counting it anyway. I saw a young man carrying a Louis Vuitton Poche Documents.
Ah, l'amour.
The Bad:
This morning was beautiful- sunny, blue skies, perfect [albeit hot as shit] weather. It felt like such a good day, and I woke with the hope of seeing something a tiny bit hip. Chic even. At the very least I was hoping to see anything that didn't cause me to upchuck my lowfat yogurt.
Of course I was dead wrong.
Good morning, Dani! And what should we see strolling down the sidewalk? Leggings. As pants.
And not as in leggings-as-pants under a nicely belted sweater dress [which could be fabulous on the right individual]. I mean leggings-as-pants with a cheek-skimming tank top tunic.
I could see the girl's business. And her thut.
Oh yes, ladies and gents, the thut was VERY prominent. [Normally I would never comment on a body part as a faux pas. I truly believe that people are beautiful in every shape - except for those sporting moobs: I find them unnatural and unsettling.]
For those who are unaware, the thut is that little piece of flesh where the thigh meets up with the butt. Models are bred to be thut-less. For the rest of us it is completely natural.
It is not, however, natural to put it on display. Outside of camel-toe and moose-knuckle it is the single-most disgusting display of flesh I can think of.
I know that Heidi Klum is wearing a TON of shiny leggings on PR lately. [Hers are actually pants. Very, very, very tight pants.] But, as a model, she is not only thutless, but also held to a dfferent set of fashion commandments than the rest of us.
Ladies, leggings are not interchangeable for proper pants. [Truly they're a bit out of style anyway. I'll let it slide if you're wearing them underneath a dress; I know it's hard to let go of our favorite trends. Especially when you're living in a place that is no less than 5 years behind current trends.]
If you want a more fitted bottom, buy a freaking pair of skinny jeans. They are everywhere and come in cuts that are far more flattering than the skin-tight to the ankle skinnies we see the emos walking about in.
The Ugly:
Oddly, other than the thut this morning [truthfully that should probably be down here with some lesser infraction above], there was nothing that made me want to vomit. I'd say that makes this Tuesday a success.
Tomorrow I'd like to see a full, belted skirt a la 1954.
"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
- Yves Saint Laurent
2 comments:
Indeed, SNU is not known for it's fashionistas.
DC is not much better, but it's better nonetheless. I'll be sure and let you know of anyone that you might be interested in.
By the way, I need help finding a good bow tie. And then...I'll need help learning to actually tie it.
OMFV! I was SO hoping you'd start rocking a bow tie!!!
It's going to be HOT!
I don't know how to tie one, I've got a wicked Windsor knot, but bow ties are another beast altogether.
If I find one, I'll let you know.
You need three to begin with- black, a solid color [kelly green would be intense], and a plaid.
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