The winter of my discontent

Good evening, children.

I promised an update, and by gum I am keeping my word. (From the field, no less, as I am at this moment sitting in Cantrell waiting for Shane's recital to begin.)

The past few weeks have been tolerably mediocre, so until this point I have felt somewhat comfortable with not posting.

A handful of girls have decided to start a new fad, and unlike my pushing for big strands of pearls and floral pins, it is neither fabulous nor welcome.

What is this atrocity?

Calf length leggings worn under cotton work-out shorts, commonly known as "Sofees," with Uggs.

Not only is this not cute, ladies, it's not doing anything to keep you warm. (It's 30 degrees out, in case you haven't noticed.) You look like morons. It's as simple as that.

Don't want to bulk up? Understandable. You don't have to. Please take note of Jessica Taylor and Andrea Kesterson, who are both known to wear sweater dresses with fitted boots, or Abbie Dedmon, who wears a nicely fitted wool jacket daily. Layer with either urban sensibilities, a la Elizabeth Chrisman, or with a bohemian vibe like Lizzie Oliver.

Call me. I'll take you shopping. Partly because I care, but mostly because I'm tired of looking at your idiotic asses walking all around my campus.

Don't want to change your moronic habits? Transfer to OU with that bullshit. You'll feel right at home, I assure you.

At dinner tonight I was made aware of the fact that focusing on your clothing is not sufficient. I have made comments here and there about unacceptable behaviors and hygiene, but a certain young lady has forced me to talk about makeup.

I realize, honey, that today was probably your first time. It takes practice.

First of all, you are WHITE, baby girl. That means Queen Collection foundations are not for you. Try a porcelain shade next time, rather than tangerine.

Second, get rid of your "Barbie's My First Makeup Kit." Pale blue glitter eye-shadow was fashionable when I was in 7th grade (though I made fun of people who wore it then). Today it is the late 90s cosmetic equivalent of Zubaz and Crocs.

You're an adult now. Chocolate brown. Charcoal gray. Plum. Wine. These are your new eye basics. Learn to love them.

"Fasions fade, style is eternal.
-Yves Saint Laurent