Did you miss me?

Hello children!

It's the beginning of a new semester. I gave everyone a little break from being subjected to commentary. I figured a week and a half was plenty of time to get all of your laundry unpacked and washed.

I have noticed a couple things, one really, that I simply cannot go without discussing immediately. Multicolored hair. I swear it's worse than nappy dreads. Ok, that may be a stretch, but it is revolting.

I am fully supportive of most forms of coiffure related self expression, but I have seen some heads on campus that look like pure Skittle-puke. Even Rainbow Brite had the sense to keep her hair one color.

Dye it all one unnatural shade [I'm partial to purple, myself]. Rachel Speer had a penchant for dyeing hers blue some years back, and it really worked for her. Or put in a few pieces of hair flair. A couple of solid streaks here and there are just dandy. We're young, and now is the time for adventurous hair, piercings and tattoos.

However, it is NEVER time for disgusting colors that do not coordinate [magenta and cornflower . . . . not a fan]. It is NEVER time for an overabundance of streaks that are not solid, but striped in nature. [Jeremy and I discussed this earlier this afternoon, and we remembered fondly a treat from our childhood.]

There isn't a polite way to put this [and even if there were, I can't said I'd be one to take that road]: you look ridiculous. I promise if you come to your senses, I will pay for you to have your hair redone. Scout's honor.

Good things from today will be posted tomorrow.

I missed you kids, really I did. Now someone please make me proud.

"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent

TTFN

Well, children, it has been fun, but the semester is coming to an end.

One thing before I close for the semester [there may be posts about Houston life over the break.]:

If I can't tell the difference between your beanie and your hair, we have a problem. I'll let you all muddle through that one on your own.

Good luck with your finals!

"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
- Yves Saint Laurent

Atrocities

[Photos will come this afternoon.]

What's worse than cape kids, you ask? I'm sure this question has been burning in your mind for days now.

Some child was walking around the Ho dressed as a disciple.

Now, I know what you're saying. "I'm sure it was for a class presentation, Danielle. You can't fault someone for a class assignment."

That's all well and good, but homedog was acting a fool upstairs, giving the pageant wave and saying hellooooooo to everyone.

Plus, he was wearing regular clothes under his tunic. All he had to do was pull that mess over his head and be done with it.

Monday I saw the most disgusting thing ever.

Plumber's crack. And how.

And this thing was no ordinary crack, oh no. This was a power crack. A 7 inch cleft. The Marianas Trench of butt cracks.

I'm pretty sure this gentlemen was wearing low-rise manties just to ensure that as much of his coin slot was as visible as possible.

The only saving grace of this week?

A Marc Jacobs [!!] green apple watch-pendant.

Presh and designer. Loves.

"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent

Aw hells naw.

I was going ot wait until Friday to post, to adhere to my schedule, but this couldn't wait.

I JUST saw something worse than cape kids.

I know you don't believe me.

Photo evidence and a full rant later.

"Fashion fades, style is eternal."
- Yves Saint Laurent

The winter of my discontent

Good evening, children.

I promised an update, and by gum I am keeping my word. (From the field, no less, as I am at this moment sitting in Cantrell waiting for Shane's recital to begin.)

The past few weeks have been tolerably mediocre, so until this point I have felt somewhat comfortable with not posting.

A handful of girls have decided to start a new fad, and unlike my pushing for big strands of pearls and floral pins, it is neither fabulous nor welcome.

What is this atrocity?

Calf length leggings worn under cotton work-out shorts, commonly known as "Sofees," with Uggs.

Not only is this not cute, ladies, it's not doing anything to keep you warm. (It's 30 degrees out, in case you haven't noticed.) You look like morons. It's as simple as that.

Don't want to bulk up? Understandable. You don't have to. Please take note of Jessica Taylor and Andrea Kesterson, who are both known to wear sweater dresses with fitted boots, or Abbie Dedmon, who wears a nicely fitted wool jacket daily. Layer with either urban sensibilities, a la Elizabeth Chrisman, or with a bohemian vibe like Lizzie Oliver.

Call me. I'll take you shopping. Partly because I care, but mostly because I'm tired of looking at your idiotic asses walking all around my campus.

Don't want to change your moronic habits? Transfer to OU with that bullshit. You'll feel right at home, I assure you.

At dinner tonight I was made aware of the fact that focusing on your clothing is not sufficient. I have made comments here and there about unacceptable behaviors and hygiene, but a certain young lady has forced me to talk about makeup.

I realize, honey, that today was probably your first time. It takes practice.

First of all, you are WHITE, baby girl. That means Queen Collection foundations are not for you. Try a porcelain shade next time, rather than tangerine.

Second, get rid of your "Barbie's My First Makeup Kit." Pale blue glitter eye-shadow was fashionable when I was in 7th grade (though I made fun of people who wore it then). Today it is the late 90s cosmetic equivalent of Zubaz and Crocs.

You're an adult now. Chocolate brown. Charcoal gray. Plum. Wine. These are your new eye basics. Learn to love them.

"Fasions fade, style is eternal.
-Yves Saint Laurent

Une Mois

Sorry, children. My B.

One month later and . . . . I'm not really updating.

Classes, which, contrary to popular belief, I do attend and complete assignments for, have been getting hectic.

Here's the plan [someone please keep me on track] [thank you Donna for the constant badgering]: weekly updates. Scheduled for Fridays. Does that sound ok to you? It had better, because you don't have a choice in the matter.

Tomorrow plan on reading about the newest campus trend.

"Fashions fade, style is eternal."
-Yves Saint Laurent

Traj

I lost my locket. My aunt gave it to me on the most important day of my life: my birth.

Small. Gold. Heart-shaped. Starburst pattern on the cover. Small diamond in the center. Empty.

If you find it, please keep it safe for me.
If I see it on your neck prepare for a slow, painful death. [That was mostly hyperbolic. Mostly.]

I'm too upset about this to post properly. Tomorrow, children. Tomorrow.